Bad Boy Detox’s Blog

I guess we have little defence for a peacock exuding confidence, fearlessness and untamed mascalinity, but why do we become addicted to the Bad Boy end of the spectrum?

Below are 5 more reasons I have observed that women fall for the Bad Boy type that follow on from my original post:

Self Esteem Issues If a woman does not feel good about herself and her life, she will have issues with intimacy and therefore consciously and subconsciously send messages that attract someone who reinforces her negative self image.  Bad Boys are experts at picking up the scent of women who are vulnerable. They are seen as easy pickings and TARGETS who are easily manipulated and controlled.  Sadly, the women are undermined and her self worth decreases dramatically as the relationship sets  off a chain reaction of disrespect and bad treatment and negative cycle.   These women can be heard to defend him saying “He’s so confident, self assured, strong and I feel safe and protected by him”.

Romantic Programming Little girls and big girls are constantly bombarded with images (through song, music-videos and movies) of the excitement and romance of the Bad Boy.  The ‘romantic hero’ has so often been portrayed as charming (fast talking witty, wise-guy), romantic (master seducer who knows the way to a woman’s bed) passionate (highly strung, quick tempered, violent), mysterious & artistic (moody, poor social skills, selfish, psychopathic, misunderstood) a hapless Lothario (confused, non-committing), chequered past (criminal),  a victim of circumstance (emotionally broken) or all 7in one.  By the time a ‘romantic’ spin has been applied to the male characters they have been transformed to anti-hero and somehow worthy of the heroin’s heart (and she will obviously “fix him.” – See below). 

“I can fix him” The world is full of altruistic women who think that with time and the patience of Mother Teresa they can take a Bad Boy and change him “with my love”.  Unfortunately, it is a fruitless mission where hope is slowly worn down by countless battles and faith is eroded by disappointment.  The point that they are missing is that Bad Boy does not want to be fixed or helped as he is content to continue to play the field, break hearts for as long as he so desires.

History Repeating Itself It is unfortunate that if a woman has been surrounded by Bad Boys in her formative years, she may feel that the character traits of a Bad Boy are NORMAL.  Also, if a woman If a woman has been too long in the role of caregiver, rescuer, or the one who sacrifices “for the good of others”, this will probably be the role she will seek out in her relationships with men.

Seduction Techniques – It was stated by Voltaire that ““It is not enough to conquer; one must learn to seduce.” Once the guarded secret of intuitive men, seduction techniques are now (no small thanks to the internet and a proliferation of gurus teaching them) bandied around with the promise of to making men “ irresistible to women” (in spite of the  obvious flaws) and give them  the dating life they “have only yet dreamed of”.

Ultimately, any woman who wants to break free from their addiction Bad Boys or break the cycle of bad relationships will need to be honest with themselves and figure out what they really want in their lives.

Following my experiences with dating a series of ‘Bad Boys’, making poor relationship choices and surviving intact, I have gone undercover as Agent D in the battle of the sexes and set herself a goal to assist 100,000 other women to break free from she calls their ‘Bad Boy Addiction’.   Further information on Bad Boy Addiction and breaking the cycle of bad relationships can be found at www.badboydetox.com and Twitter.